Two questions
by Windpheonix
Summary: In the GAR, on a republic cruiser there is an unwritten rule about questions. There are two questions you must never ask. These questions are 'Why' and 'How'.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:**

I do not own Star Wars and I don't earn any money with this piece of fiction. I write it for entertainment purpose only.

* * *

Fives led his General's secretaries, Christina in a blue skirt, Elisabeth in wide cut trousers, through the uniform grey corridors of the GAR headquarters on Coruscant.

"Since you are going to be traveling in a republic cruiser the General instructed me to introduce you to the most important rules for living in close quarters."

The two young women nodded, listening intently to their guide and friend.

"I realize that you have already made yourself comfortable with the official rules, but please feel free to ask about anything that is still unclear. Also, I was told to put special emphasis on anything that is not in the rules but still common ship-board procedures. In the GAR, on a republic cruiser there is an unwritten rule about questions. There are two questions you must never ask."

Fives fixed Elisabeth and Christina with a single look.

"I am serious; you do not ask these if you have any intention of keeping your sanity.

These questions are 'Why' and 'How'."

Elisabeth chuckled, Fives scoffed at the black haired woman.

"You are laughing now, but trust me. You do not want to ask these two questions."

"But, what if we have to ask them? I mean, sometimes you have to know, right?"

Christina smiled, trying to will the awkwardness of the rule away. She reached about to Five's shoulder, so she had to tilt her head up a little in order to look him in the eye.

Fives nodded, "That's right. If and I am stressing this, if you ever find yourself in a situation that requires these questions, you better ask 'Do I want to know?' first."

Elisabeth was close to downright laughing; only biting it back to greet the General Skywalker and Captain Rex, as they turned into the corridor, scaling the stairs to the upper floor.

The captain was about to reply with a courteous nod, as something hot pink and glittering hurled itself across the top corridor and down the stairs, tackling Fives with a gleeful shout.

General Skywalker grabbed Elisabeth's arm and dragged her out of harm's way as the two clones, one in white, one in hot pink tumbled down the stairs. At the end of their rough fall Fives squirmed his way out of Echo's vice-like grip and jumped to his feet.

Christina had thrown herself against the railing to avoid the two fighting men pulling her with them.

Fives could only shout out a quick "Sir, if you would please continue the tour," before Echo, dark in anger, clambered to his feet and took another launch at his brother.

"Get back here you dirty little Shabuir!" The clone roared as he raced after Fives, who in turn, took to his heels.

Really, any clone of Jango Fett in full anger was quiet a scary sight.

Usually, just a default glare was enough to make Christina bow her head and get out of his way, but here she couldn't suppress a giggle.

Echo's hot pink armor had a beautiful shine to it, although the rainbow sparkles in the paint might have something to do with the way it reflected the light.

Fives had really outdone himself this time. Not that it helped him much as he raced into the next corridor on the lower floor, his brother hot in pursue and closing in.

Skywalker, still on the stairs, looked after them, "Fives missed the lining on Echo's shoulder bell."

He turned to his captain. "I have a meeting this afternoon, Rex please schedule someone to pick up where Fives left off. Where was that?"

The last question was directed towards Christina, who still gripped the stair's railing in fright.

"He just informed us of the unwritten rules about questions Master Jedi." She forced out, slowly forcing her hands to let go of the durasteel.

They heard a shout and the sound of something heavy hitting the ground. There was a short scuffle, and laughter by the men in the next corridor.

A few moment of silence later Echo returned, now clad in white, holding the newly colored armor under his arm. His face had returned to his usual pleasant look, but some color still remained in his cheeks.

He crossed the hall and stopped in front of his general, giving him a textbook salute.

"Sir, I apologize for the commotion."

"Accepted, now 'do I want to know?'"

"Sir, no Sir!"

The general nodded. "Alright, return to your duties."

"Sir, yes Sir!"

Echo snapped another salute and walked up the stairs.

Just as he turned around the corner in the upper floor, Fives appeared at the foot of the stairs.

He tried his best to appear casual, but was failing miserably. No wonder. His brothers were snickering as he crossed their way in his black jumpsuit.

He too, performed a textbook salute in front of his General and CO, but somehow the movement seemed lost as he performed it in basically his underwear.

General Skywalker stared down at him, scrutinizing the clone wearing an unreadable look.

"Well," he started, stopped and shook his head.

Fives shifted, suddenly cold with fear, had he gone too far, this time?

His body felt heavy, his head light, at the same time.

He didn't dare say anything.

Skywalker continued. "Well, Fives, you missed a spot. The lining on Echo's right shoulder bell was still white."

With that, he gave the trooper a nod and continued his way.

* * *

**A.N.:**

Christina and Elisabeth are two OCs from my story Revelations, I hope putting them in here didn`t make things confusing. I just needed two people the rule could be explained to.

Since my main story is giving me trouble, here a little something that developed out of a conversation with my beta-reader.

We were talking about Warhammer, Space Marines and that different Chapters have differently colored armor when she dropped the gem of Space Marines in hot pink, glittering armor.

Of course my brain did have to go ahead and send me a picture of an angry space marine in pink armor with rainbow colored glitter.

Over the process of refining the idea the Space Marine turned into a clone trooper and the Chapter colors into a good, old fashioned prank.

Oh, and no, Fives didn't have to finish the tour in his jumpsuit, Hardcase took over for him.

Although Fives had to clean Echo' s armor before he got his own back.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:**

I do not own Star Wars and I don't earn any money with this piece of fiction. I write it for entertainment purpose only.

* * *

Rex was walking down the corridor leading to his office, caf in one hand, flimsi in the other.

"No, no, no! This has to be a joke!"

Loud shouting, highly unusual in the grey corridors of the resolute caused the captain to stop and turn towards the gym, just as he was nearing the door, it opened.

"Fives!"

The last word jumped in his face with an eardrum shattering volume. Kix, red-faced and visibly flustered stared at his CO and snapped at attention while said clone tried to get rid of the ringing in his ears.

"At ease Kix. What is this about?"

Kix stepped back into the gym, giving view to an over-sized object, that looked almost comical in it's orange glory against the dull grey of its surroundings. A group of clones had gathered around it, cheering on one of their brothers as he made a few uneasy steps. Jesse walked over to his captain, backing of into the sparring area to avoid the spinning neon-orange wheel. He apologized for bumping into a brother, interrupting his session, before greeting Rex.

At this particular moment the blond clone realized his mistake. He could have let the situation be, allowing supply to handle this predicament, but no, he had had to ask. Because of that he could now deal with, with… Rex squinted and stepped closer, with this hamster wheel.

Yes, he decided. Now he could deal with this bright orange, see through plastic, over sized hamster wheel.

"Why?"

`Second mistake`, a little voice in his head hummed, which sounded surprisingly like a short togrutan padawan early in the morning after she had had too much caf with sugar.

"Why what Sir?" Now that his captain was there, Kix had cooled down slightly.

"Why isn`t it pink?" Fives quipped right before his brother grabbed his elbow and dragged him out of the room.

"Stop it Echo! It would look way better in pink ! Ow, I said stop it!"

The older clones collectively shook their heads at the younger clone`s antics. Jesse laughed. Life had certainly gotten interesting since these two had arrived.

Rex turned towards Jesse. He had several close contacts working in supply.

"So, why is that here?"

"Apparently the," the other clone hesitated, "the wheels take up less space and are more cost efficient, so a senate committee decided the mills will be replaced with this."

KIx took a deep breath.

"Alright, calm down, deep breath and now," He closed his eyes, focused and promptly exploded.

"Which, brain amputated idiot was on that committee? They may take up less space, but look at this! We have to watch out for the wheel so much, we invade other areas. The walkways are too narrow for this. Try to imagine all of the treadmills exchanged for these abominations! This, this is…"

He trailed of, breathing heavily and struggling for words.

Rex eyed his caf and downed it in one gulp.

"Either it is too early for this, or this caf isn`t strong enough. Come Kix, I will contact Coruscant. You can tell them their concerns. I can see the problem."

_There is no way I am dealing with this alone._

Jesse tilted his head. A thunk, followed by a muffled curse indicated another clone had come too close and been hit by the wheel.

"What does the captain mean with that? I tried the solution he is drinking once. When you make that stronger, you can dip a spoon in it and tell it `go twice left, twice right, no milk, no sugar and then go polish my armor` and it will say `Sir, yes, sir. `"

Meanwhile in Rex`s office the captain worried about his medic developing an aneurism.

"I have three concussed men in my infirmary Ma`am, three! And that is just the number from this morning. Excuse my language, actually no, don't. Which kriffing moron made that decision? Do they have any idea of how a gym works? Any? Did they see a picture of it?"

The meticulously groomed civilian twitched noticeably.

"It was decided by a senate committee. The decision was carefully evaluated. You can expect shipment of the next exercise wheels to arrive by next Thursday."

"Like osik we will!" Kix flipped out. He leaned forward, bracing his weight on his hands.

"And if the treadmills are only kept together by spit and duct tape, they will still be better than this poor excuse of a joke!"

"Now, Kix, that is no way to address supply. You never know when you will need to be on their good side."

General Skywalker had stepped into the room.

"What is the problem with these exercise wheels you talked about? Surely with a bit of tlc the new equipment will work out."

With Kix`s acidic reply the Jedi wished the force would grant the ability to turn back time. How could he have forgotten that rule?

"Would that be tlc as in tender loving care or totally lost cause, Sir?"

* * *

A.N.:

So, writing in a language that is not your own is difficult. Discussing what you wrote with someone in another language is even more difficult. So, you can all imagine how a talk with my beta reader over my story Revelations turned hilarious when we confused the treadmills with hamster wheels.

My brain could not resist the sight of a clone on a bright orange, over sized hamster wheel. Curse my imagination XD.

Oh, and now I have a head canon, where Kix is a choleric medic, who is way to similar to Ratchet from transformers and prankster-Fives. Just great.


End file.
